Book Review: "Thanks For Waiting" by Doree Shafrir
“Thanks For Waiting” by Doree Shafrir
Bookshop | Kindle
Thank you to Netgalley for providing an advance e-reader copy of this book.
Publisher Synopsis: Doree Shafrir spent much of her twenties and thirties feeling out of sync with her peers. She was an intern at twenty-nine and met her husband on Tinder in her late thirties, after many of her friends had already gotten married, started families, and entered couples' counseling. After a long fertility struggle, she became a first-time mom at forty-one, joining Mommy & Me classes where most of the other moms were at least ten years younger. And while she was one of Gawker's early hires and one of the first editors at BuzzFeed, she didn't find professional fulfillment until she co-launched the successful self-care podcast Forever35--at forty.
Now, in her debut memoir, Shafrir explores the enormous pressures we feel, especially as women, to hit particular milestones at certain times and how we can redefine what it means to be a late bloomer. She writes about everything from dating to infertility, to how friendships evolve as you get older, to why being pregnant at forty-one is unexpectedly freeing--all with the goal of appreciating the lives we've lived so far and the lives we still hope to live.
Thanks for Waiting is about how achieving the milestones you thought were so important don't always happen on the time line you imagined. In a world of 30 Under 30 lists, this book is a welcome reminder that it's okay to live life at your own speed.
Trigger Warning: infertility
Rating (out of 5): 3.5
Review: I wanted to like this a lot more than I did. And I didn’t dislike it, per se. Like Doree, I also consider myself somewhat of a late bloomer (my first kiss felt like it was…very late), but unlike Doree, I don’t want kids, and so much of the book was about her and her husband’s IVF journey. The first half focuses more on Doree’s professional and romantic journeys, while the latter focuses more on IVF with her husband. While that part of the book just didn’t resonate with me too much (although of course I was rooting for Doree and Matt along the way), I did enjoy the main message that it’s important to live life at your own speed.
I found Doree’s writing funny, personable, and very relatable. There’s something to be said for throwing the whole “married by 30, kids by 35” trope out the window; I was definitely still figuring my shit out in my 20s. Doree’s memoir is a great reminder that shit happens—she got laid off at 32 (…and I got laid off at 33) (yes, this year), but ultimately, comparison is the truly the thief of joy.
I do think, that in our hyperconnected world, it’s easy to get caught in a trap of comparison. So many people live their lives online, only showing the good sides. But, on the flip side, it’s also easier than ever to connect with people who want the same things you do—or at least follow influencers who want the same things you do, or influencers who have a similar body type, etc… Doree’s memoir is candid, honest, and a good reminder to put less pressure on ourselves (definitely something I’m still learning).
TL;DR: A candid, honest reality check and reminder that creating the life you want can sometimes take longer than society deems appropriate—and that’s OK.
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