Book Review: "You Never Forget Your First" by Alexis Coe
“You Never Forget Your First: A Biography of George Washington” by Alexis Coe
Synopsis: Young George Washington was raised by a struggling single mother, demanded military promotions, caused an international incident, and never backed down--even when his dysentery got so bad he had to ride with a cushion on his saddle. But after he married Martha, everything changed. Washington became the kind of man who named his dog Sweetlips and hated to leave home. He took up arms against the British only when there was no other way, though he lost more battles than he won.
After an unlikely victory in the Revolutionary War cast him as the nation's hero, he was desperate to retire, but the founders pressured him into the presidency--twice. When he retired years later, no one talked him out of it. He left the highest office heartbroken over the partisan nightmare his backstabbing cabinet had created.
Back on his plantation, the man who fought for liberty must confront his greatest hypocrisy--what to do with the men, women, and children he owns--before he succumbs to death.
With irresistible style and warm humor, You Never Forget Your First combines rigorous research and lively storytelling that will have readers--including those who thought presidential biographies were just for dads--inhaling every page. - Viking Books
Rating (out of 5): 4.5
Review: I loved this book from the first page of the preface, as you can see by the Instagram story I just posted to prove my point, and honestly, I was sad to see it end. I love a good great-man-of-history nonfiction read, and to all of us here in the U.S., isn’t George the greatest man of all?
I’d like to start the review with a quick mental exercise: what adjectives come to mind when you think of George Washington? My top 5 are: majestic. measured. masculine. victorious. brilliant. I''m sure that you came up with something similar, as he’s become more myth than man due to his role in the founding of America.* Part of that is due to contemporary propaganda, but I think it’s mostly due to overly-favorable biographers in later years.
By and large, history to this point has been written by (white) men and about (white) men, and in doing so, we all miss out. Alexis Coe raises this point in her introduction and she is spot on, in my book blogger opinion: “For nearly two and a half centuries, most of the stories Americans have told themselves about their country’s past have been about men, by men, for men. Women, like people of color, have typically been relegated to supporting roles. And so when women biographers and historians get a chance to correct the record, they tend to shift the focus away from the leading man, lingering instead on the forgotten people and understudied issues around him — which are actually integral to the understanding of him, too.”
Not even on page 1, and already upending my conceptions about a presidential biographer. I loved her focus in this work, more on who George was as a human, not in terms of his accomplishments. Not only that, we heard about the relationships at the center of his life: his mother, his wards, his wife, his slaves, his contemporaries. I consider myself a fairly well-read student of history, and this is the first time I can remember hearing about George being raised by a single mother; that’s just one example of how his early years shaped him, but it’s one that’s glossed over in the mythmaking of our first president.
The books is divided into four parts: Reluctant Rebel, General George Washington’s American Revolution — Off the Battlefield, Mr. President, and I Die Hard. She tells the story of his life not as a military hero, but focusing instead on what he did in between the battles — with Martha, with his subordinates, with his slaves.
Slavery is an unavoidable aspect of not only George’s story, but also that of most of the founding fathers — it’s something that is largely glossed over in 2020 (I speak from long experience, it wasn’t really addressed in many of my high school level history classes in Alabama years ago), and I appreciate so much that Alexis Coe didn’t shy away from it here. Many people — including the fine historians at Mount Vernon — gloss over it, and lean into the story that he freed all of his slaves at death. That’s not entirely true, and it’s something that the author delves into, going so far as to trace where his slaves actually ended up among his heirs and assigns.
I’m afraid that I’ve positioned it like Alexis Coe is trying to turn the story of George Washington on his head — she’s not, I promise! Instead, she’s creating a more clear photo of him, not as the “foundingest father” or a “superb physical specimen” but as a real human being — the good, the bad, and the ugly. I wish she would do this for all the presidents, tbh, because it made me respect him even more.
*for the purposes of this review, I’m assuming you are from the United States, just due to our demographics and the fact that this is a review of a book about America’s first president. Sorry if I’m wrong!
TL;DR: A quick, charming, and irreverent look at George Washington’s life, focusing more on the man himself, not the myth as the founding father.
If You Liked This, Try These:
“Franklin and Winston” by Jon Meacham (tonally not quite the same, but my favorite presidential bio)
“Assassination Vacation” by Sarah Vowell (honestly, anything by Sarah Vowell — I also love “Lafayette in the Somewhat United States” and “The Partly Cloudy Patriot”)
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